Eliminating the “Attack” in Our Relationships

The changes abounding on the planet are shining a bright light on our relationships, and beyond the relentless exposure of behaviors that keep us in disharmony, lies the promise of a new world unity that reflects the truth of our Oneness and our potential to create “Heaven on Earth” – in our lifetime.

By recognizing the price we’ve paid (and manipulation that’s occurred), for believing we are separate from one another and from God, we can return to the truth and make the changes within ourselves that will inspire the transformation of humanity.  Understanding the suffering born of that belief, and how it affects us today, is crucial.

It’s a lot easier to bestow violence upon someone you view as separate from you, without the realization that what we do to another, we do to ourselves.  And it’s a lot easier to accept our helplessness and remain in attack-defend-attack mode, than to acknowledge we have the same power within us as the energy of Creation itself, and can use it to recreate all that we have destroyed.

One of the most powerful things we can do to affect change on the planet, is begin the daily practice of eliminating attacks upon ourselves and others, whether done consciously or unconsciously.  Outward attacks are obvious:  physical abuse, punishing words, vindictive driving, passive/aggressive behavior, control and manipulation, etc.

Not so obvious, are the internal attacks our conditioned minds dole out all too easily:  judgment, as an imposition of our critical mind upon another; projection of our anger with hostile thoughts; the perception of superiority and inferiority; comparison, in its diminishing of oneself or another; blame; and any reactive thought that rebukes the sacredness or denies the respect of a fellow human being, or any form of life.

Because of the truth of our Oneness, when we unwittingly project our callous thoughts and actions onto another (often because we have not learned to manage our own pain or discomfort), they are returned to us directly in the experience of guilt, fear, shame, limitation, and other innumerable forms of misery and self-sabotage.

Because of the truth of our power, when any one of us, in any moment, recognizes we are attacking and seeks to stop it (asking for help from God if we can’t or don’t know how), the entire world benefits in that instant.  Just as a radio frequency is heard by those who turn to the channel on which it broadcasts, the change your action inspires is transmitted energetically to everyone of like mind, and a resonating, magnified field of energy is created for the manifestation of the idea.  That “magical” synchronicity we all experience time to time??  It’s simply the truth of how the Universe really operates and what can happen when we are in alignment (and embodiment) with spiritual law.

We have to see what we are doing in order to change it, which means we have to overcome our tendency to avoid looking at our own shadow; a tendency developed, in part, because of the judgment we hold in place while doing so.  We’re more likely to fight to stay stuck, than take a stand for our freedom.  Think about it.  Why would we be more willing to continue suffering than to discover and renounce the false ideas that are entrapping us?  It brings to mind a reply I’ve heard from clients through the years about the effort required to achieve transformation:  “But it’s hard!”

That’s resistance speaking; a defense mechanism whose only purpose is to keep the jail door locked, with you inside!  It may be difficult initially, but it is ultimately much harder to sustain the painful effects created from our belief in the illusion of separation.  And the reflection of that suffering can no longer be denied; humanity is at risk.

My own realization of how often I was in attack mode, brought forth profound changes as I learned to manage and take responsibility for my emotions, discipline my mind through meditation, take better care of my Self, and cultivate the practice of forgiveness.   After a lifetime of struggle in all kinds of relationships (highlighted by torturous drama with men), I’ve come to be a different woman:  a woman who has learned to forgive and accept; a woman who can love more, unconditionally; a woman who has learned to give more selflessly, and demand less; a woman who takes responsibility and is passionate about contributing.  Not only have my relationships vastly improved, I am more available to the Universe as a vessel for transformation and love.

We can become just as adept at celebrating the victory of our growth as we are at condemning ourselves for what we feel powerless to change, and our amazing journey to liberation can be rich and joyous.  On the level of consciousness, transformation can happen in the instant we drop the false conditioning of how we’ve come to be, and return to the truth of who we really are.  And in the quickening that’s upon us now, the miracles spawned from our resolve to eliminate the “attack” in our relationships, can manifest our loftiest dreams of a world united in love, faster than we ever imagined.

About Nancy Furst

Spiritual Counselor
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