Los Angeles and Malibu have been my homes for over forty-five years, though I now reside in Santa Barbara. Having lived through the Woolsey fire in Malibu in 2018, and forced to evacuate for two weeks, I know firsthand what it is like to experience a major fire.

The fires currently ravaging Los Angeles area cities, truly deserve the description of apocalyptic and it is an ongoing horror for those who live there and all who are affected. Home and beloved community are gone for thousands upon thousands of people and, once again, we are united by catastrophe.

So I want to address the vast topic of when devastation hits, because it is becoming way too familiar for all of us. Whether it’s destructive weather events or the departure of loved ones, loss of any kind changes us. Shock, disbelief, helplessness, confusion, disorientation, unfathomable grief, depression, and profound suffering commonly accompany events of devastation.

It’s a moment in time when our lives are instantly and radically changed by forces greater than our ability to prevent them. It is part of the nature of life, as is death, and no one is exempt. However, because of the extremes we now live in, we are forced to relentlessly face and adapt to these events, and cultivate our resilience in the process. The stress affects every part of us; bodies can break down and minds can scramble, rendering us useless.

The journey through devastation of any kind is ultimately a pathway toward growth, healing, recovery and rebirth. It is best met with an inner choice to evolve through it, even without knowing how. It becomes realized by going through the stages of darkness in gradual acceptance and surrender to the reality of what has happened. The goal is to not get stuck in the quicksand of pain, bitterness, regret, blame, and victimhood. Expressing emotions and sharing the experience with others can help to avoid that.

Devastation is death and rebirth, and it requires the best of us. It requires conviction in our ability to not only survive, but draw from our inherent capability, power, and strength to move through it. We are made of that which created us which means we are infinite potential, connected to infinite resource, given an infinite capacity to love. In time, the momentum to recreate comes through.

The over-conditioned, fearful mind is not where we will find answers or the way forward. The directional guidance needed for forward movement comes from the heart, intuitive wisdom, and soul. It comes from connection to Source, within us and through us, and from Mother Earth who constantly reflects Her wisdom and embodies the true nature of life.

We have to listen. We have to pause. We have to connect.

One of the gifts of devastation is the eradication of the pettiness that keeps us separate from one another. Connection in and of itself, brings healing and reminds us of our oneness. Seek connection. Give and receive as many hugs as possible.

The action of helping others in the midst of a devastating event, brings purpose that lifts us higher and ignites our capability beyond all former parameters. A helping hand, a compassionate touch, staying with someone in despair, listening, looking for what’s needed and responding, all become lasting memories for those affected as we, in turn, are uplifted by our contribution.

Asking for help when you need it is critical. Too often we are captured by mental patterns that speak of the need to do things on our own, hide our vulnerability, or feel wrong for asking. But risking our own vulnerability by asking for help, allows someone else to fulfill their desire to assist and it is part of our purpose in sharing life together.

Take care of yourselves. Whether you are in the midst of devastation or observing it, take breaks that enable you to assimilate and rest. Taking care of the mundane tasks of daily life can be a stepping stone for coping, along with mental breaks that create space for greater perspective.

About prayer: I found myself overwhelmed when trying to pray about the Los Angeles fires. There was so much to pray for and it’s so personal to me, I couldn’t find a focus. It’s called complicated grief, and what helps is to pick just one thing, one aspect to pray for. And continue to pray in that way.

Life is a continuum and nothing can remain the same. You cannot remain in pain forever, grieve forever, be lost in darkness forever, or suffer forever. If you are willing, change will come and you will feel the light of relief and hope. You will be supported in getting there in unexpected ways. The beauty of life will caress and engage you into new states of aliveness, gratitude, rebirth, and joy.

May our journey be guided by love and compassion.